The Difference Between Networking and Socializing

There is a massive difference between professional networking and merely socializing.  Many of us have seen one or two people in the community that seem to be at every single networking event the community offers.  They go to breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, member-only meetings, chamber meetings, etc.  And one must ask themselves, “when do they get any work done? Are they making any money?”

While there are many benefits to networking, it’s important to network efficiently.  In my experience, approaching the networking realm should be a targeted effort instead of taking a machine gun approach.  Granted, this may differ slightly between professions. 

Building and maintaining relationships is important in almost all facets of life but finding yourself at a networking event with people who are looking to make social friends, or worse, are looking to date or hook up, can be a nightmare for those looking to advance their careers! 

The purpose of this article is to

1. Understand the difference between networking and socializing.
2. How to spot those who are merely socializing.
3. How to ensure your time isn’t wasted on a face-to-face meeting with someone who has a different intention than you.

The Difference Between Networking and Socializing 

Socalizing is all about people meeting other people leisurely or for pleasure.

Networking, on the other hand, is interacting with other people or professionals to develop contacts, exchange information, and further one’s career or business.

In other words, what is the purpose of the interaction?  Are you looking to meet people socially, or are you looking to advance your profession?  This can be confusing for some because if two people are meeting and they don’t have the same reason for meeting, it could end up being a waste of time for both parties.

More often than not, professionals meet at a business networking event.  There are usually several people there all from different backgrounds and professions and they may be attending for a myriad of different reasons.  Maybe they are looking to grow their book of business, or perhaps they are looking to connect with COIs (centers of influence or those who can help expand their career). 

Unfortunately, there are also those who are looking to simply get away from the office, or to find someone to date.  Again, one purpose of this article is to highlight how to spot those people who have a different intention than you for meeting face-to-face and not waste your time on them!

How To Network Instead of Mingle

If the adage is true, “It’s not what you know, but who you know,” it means that there is value in all sorts of interactions.  Besides, you never know who you are going to meet and how you help them, or how they can help you.  However, when it comes to your bottom line, it’s more beneficial to spend your time networking with the right professionals.

So how can you know if someone is looking to network or mingle?

3 Ways You Can Ensure Someone is Networking Instead Of Socializing:

Finding out the intention of others isn’t always easy, but it isn’t impossible.  Asking open-ended questions and listening to the questions they are asking you during an event can shed light on what their purpose for attending the event is.

• Ask open-ended business or career-related questions.

What is the biggest challenge you are facing in your career? What industry would you like to get in front of for your business? Who passes you the most referrals? What made you want to attend this event? How did you hear about this event?

• Context your face-to-face meetings.

Who is wanting to meet with you?  Is it a member of the opposite sex?  Are they in an industry that can benefit your business or vice versa?  Do you get the feeling that they are just trying to sell you something? 

Before going into any face-to-face meeting, look at the conversation you had at the professional networking event.  Were they asking a lot of personal questions, or were they staying professional?  If a face-to-face meeting doesn’t feel like it’s going to benefit either party professionally, you can easily and politely decline the meeting. 

• How did YOU hear about this meeting?

Did you find out about it through a business portal?  Was it found on Eventbrite or meetup?  What is the name of the event?  Obviously, something named “The Single Mingle,” or “Speed dating for Introverts” may not be as professional as another event called “The Business Mixer” or “Professional B2B Lunch.”

Being Direct is Key!

If all else fails, and you still haven’t been able to identify another persons’ intention for meeting up face-to-face, be direct.  If you aren’t sure why someone is wanting to meet up with you, ask!  Is this face-to-face meeting to date, to form a friendship, or to form a professional relationship?  Asking directly has never hurt anyone.  Here are some examples:

• I appreciate you wanting to meet up over coffee, what are you hoping to gain from the conversation?

This helps you to quickly identify if they are wanting to meet up professionally or not.  If they answer quickly and professionally, typically you are in the clear.  If they say they are interested in learning more about you, or fumble over their words to try to make it sound like they are professional, that’s a tell-tale sign they have different motives than you.

• I like meeting professionals and discussing how we can mutually benefit each other’s businesses.  What would you like to cover in the meeting?

Here, you are making it clear that this would be a professional meeting and not a friendly getting-to-know one another personally. 

• To be clear, this would be a professional face-to-face and not a personal meeting.  I can’t be making friends or dating on company time!

This is direct, to-the-point, and there can be no misunderstandings as to why you would be having a face-to-face meeting with this person.  If they ARE looking to date, they may simply ask, “Well let’s meet after hours then.”  From there, you can decide to meet or not meet, but at least you would know the intention and not waste yours or your company’s time.

*Food For Thought*

In my experience, there is always going to be that person who doesn’t respect your boundaries and tries to force their intent onto you.  My advice on this would be not to engage with them any further.  Anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, both personally and/or professionally, will likely never respect them.  Continuing any form of relationship with them could end up being damaging down the road.  Cut your losses and get out!

About We&Co and The We&Co Huddles

We&Co is a professional co-oping & professional networking business that was founded in Springfield, Missouri in 2020.  While there are many professional networking groups in and around the United States, We&Co focuses on creating small industry-specific groups with five to ten professionals who all have the same target audience but offer different products and services.

In essence, professionals come to us when they want to save time while making more money.  These industry-specific groups are essential pods of professionals surrounded by their ideal referral partners.

These small groups of referral partners (called “Huddles) meet up twice a month for an hour and talk strategy on how to become that one-stop-shop for their clients.  If you are a professional who is interested in joining or launching your own We&Co co-op (or “Huddle” as we like to call them), start a free trial here (no credit card needed), and a representative will get back to you shortly!