Respond-ABILITY Part 2

is something upsetting you Life Health business relationships are they getting you down maybe it's just simply traffic on the way to work every time I catch myself getting annoyed or flustered I remember that old George Carlin quote have you ever noticed that people driving faster than you are a maniac and people driving slower than you are idiots but I digress hi I'm Jana Henman and today we're talking about part two of arguing with the universe arguing for your limitations arguing in general so before we get started what are some of your triggers what are some of the things that set you off keep in mind I'm not saying that I'm holier than thou and that I'm never triggered trust me my husband and my daughter have stories but what I am saying is that the first step to tackling this tackling these challenges is pure unadulterated awareness before we dealt until the next time you feel yourself getting anxious upset angry frustrated impatient ask yourself these questions number one what is more important to me in this moment the outcome or my current emotional and mental peace give a pause sit with the question for a moment or two number two for what reason am I giving this person experience or challenge power over my peace of mind give it a pause sit with the question number three one of what am I gaining out of choosing these emotions give pause sit with the question I like calling it sitting with the question because sometimes we mentally and cognitively know the answer to it we know the answer but sitting with it for an extended period of time sometimes your whole body gets it it's not just knowing the answer it's like your body embodies it it's more of an epiphany a realization an illumination if you will the fact of the matter is this tantrums and mantrum are something that we were supposed to get over in our toddler years but how many adults do you know that throw tantrums and mantrum whenever they experience something they don't like we actually never got over it sidetracked for a second when Mia hit her terrible twos and terrible 3es naturally tantrum started happening and how we handled it was really fun anytime she threw a tantrum I would tell her this is not how you get what you want out of life you do not go to your boss when you've been working there for a couple of years throw a tantrum and get what you want sure there are some experiences where that happens but for the most part when you throw a tantrum to the universe the Universe goes I'll just give you more to cry about right how often have you heard that from your parent oh you're going to throw a tantrum I'm going to give you more to cry about I remember once where she was throwing a tantrum and I told her I was like if you're going to act like this I'm going to throw your toy over the balcony now mind you we lived in koala lumur at the time she was around three and she did this thing where she laid on the floor and flailed about and screamed and cried and all I did was I looked at her and I went this isn't how you get what you want out of life if you keep doing this I'm going to throw your toy over the balcony she didn't stop so I took her favorite toy which I still have here today her name is Penola it's this little pink turtle that she's had since she was a baby I took her turtle and I threw it over the balcony you know what happened she threw an even bigger tantrum she was like I can't believe you would do something like that I cannot believe that you would punish me in that way and I just looked at her and said okay now it's time to go to your room I don't have time for this I will not be the mother of a child that I take into the grocery store and throws a freaking tantrum in the cereal aisle because she's not getting the cereal she wanted nope I'm going to stuff this out while we're at home and I did and it's it's so funny nowadays she doesn't get what she wants and she's so mature about it by the way today is her 16th birthday September 3rd that's when I'm shooting this video she's now the type of person she'll go up to a boy she'll go up and she'll be like hey I really like you I don't want to date though my education comes first and if the guy says I like you too but only as a friend she goes cool she does not throw a tantrum she doesn't get mad she doesn't try to chase this person she's more mature than 90% of the adults that I meet including me this is where mindfulness comes in Sometimes the best way we can approach a challenge or an undesired result that we don't like sometimes the best approach to any perceived challenge situation or undesired result is by being simply aware of it in the first first place be aware of your reaction to the situation you can respond or you can react and here's what you can do to start practicing mindfulness on a daily basis and mind you to really embody it takes everyday practice even if you only take 5 minutes a day to do this that will give you a world of different results it's better than nothing so number one mindfulness uh practice whatever you do give your complete attention to it so you're eating lunch put your phone down no one needs that chew it feel your teeth biting into the food feel the textures the tastes the the smells feel it going down your esophagus feel it coming into your stomach just be with your food 100% simple right how often do you sit there and eat lunch and you're already on your phone thinking about the next task you need to do right after you're done with your 20 minute lunch hi my name is Jana and I do that a lot that's why this is so important if you ever notice if you ever uh stop and practice mindfulness and just being there in the moment you'll notice that your mind either goes to the future or to the Past it's never in the present and by the way it doesn't have to be lunch it could be cleaning showering gardening whatever any mundane task the next time you do it try to give yourself 100% focus on that task and then when you find your mind drifting away thinking about things in the past or things in the future just gently bring it back and go oh I'm gardening right now or oh I'm eating lunch right now or oh I'm enjoying drinking the water or drinking coffee or orange juice now that being said what do you do when you find yourself agitated frustrated stressed out how do you bring mindfulness into the equation when your emotions are going up and by the way Sidetrack when emotions go up intelligence goes down so when you start to notice that your emotions are going up what do you do this is something um my zen master taught me I'd like to say two decades ago but I also like to think that I'm see look where my mind comes in this is something my zen master used to say you need to practice a BC a is being aware that I am here and being completely focused on it B is the experience the situation the person so now I am aware of a and the B is out there so now I'm aware of both and I am aware that there's a distance between that and now that I'm aware that there's a distance now there's the C which is the distance a I am here B I'm aware of that and C I'm aware of this and when you can sit there and completely embody I am here I am Gana I am sitting in this moment and there's this thing this video if you will I am a I am here I am present there's this video and then there's the space between me and this video man you get out of emotional reaction so quick you're just sitting there and you're looking at everything from a broader view if that makes sense you should practice it most of the time when I do these videos it's not to teach anyone anything it's more to remind myself what I forgot I really have nothing to teach I only have to remember by me for me to me in summary every time you throw a tantrum every time you get angry at anything outside of you you're literally arguing with the universe how ridiculous is that hey hey you you mess this up my partners messed up or my daughters messed up she's not by the way or traffic in this town is messed up whatever it is every time you get angry you're literally arguing with God and you're telling God or the universe or higher power or whatever it is do you want peace of mind do you want happiness and health then don't do that anywh who I'm Jana Henman and remember to like follow And subscribe to our social channels and be sure to sign up for our Weekly Newsletter no fluff just the good stuff we're going to have the QR code show up right after this and I will see you next week