How to Combat Gossiping & Complaining in Your Business

have you ever watched trust between people crumble because someone decided to air their grievances with everyone instead of the one person that they had a beef with hi I'm Yan henan and today we're talking about gossip and how to alleviate grievances in your organization specifically we're going to talk about how gossip kills morale damages friendships and how having a complaint process in place is absolutely essential let's start with the obvious no organization is perfect conflicts are going to happen miscommunications are going to arise as well as misunderstandings and you know people are people but how you handle those situations is what separates a healthy organization from a toxic one but before we go specifically into gossiping let's talk about the differences between venting and complaining venting is very different when you want to vent your intention is to get something off your chest maybe something's kind of gwing at you you can't quite focus it's bothering you venting is you go to a trusted neutral party someone that you trust and you can tell them everything they give you 5 10 15 20 minutes to clear the air talk about what's bothering you they're not going to go around and tell everyone and neither are you you just needed a space to get it off your chest clear your mind so that you can go back to focusing on what it is that you need to focus complaining is a little different complaining the intention is to get people on your side it's to keep wallowing in it um some people like to get attention for being the victim or being in pain whatever it is complaining is kind of toxic okay so what does that look like complaining can look like you going to everyone or dragging everyone in even if they don't want to be involved into a situation and you keep talking about it over and over and over again for days weeks months years whatever and often times you complain about it to everyone without ever really approaching that one person who you have it beef with complaining is toxic and it's a form of Gossip so the next time you need to vent about something ask yourself am I venting or am I complaining and is there a payoff to me talking about this forever and ever and ever is there some kind of lust or uh some kind of a payoff to be being a victim ask yourself that so here's the thing about complaining and about gossip it doesn't just hurt the people or person that you're talking about it puts everyone that you've dragged into this situation at it puts them at a disadvantage and it also hurts you it lets people know hey this is how I handle conflicts I don't handle conflicts I I whine and moan about it and paint myself a victim and then I draw a line in the sand I try to get everyone on my side that's not really plain win-win or all win as we like to say and trust me in an organization or in business no one's going to be lining up to collaborate with the person who's always complaining or gossiping about everyone else worse when you're gossiping in a professional setting you're damaging this person's reputation that you're talking smack about it could just be a misunderstanding a miscommunication it happens all the time this is where having a complaint process comes in very handy at we andco we have a very structured and professional way to handle Grievances and it works so long as everyone follows them in other words so long as everyone knows the rules of the game Step One is straightforward if you have an issue with someone if you're upset or offended or if they did something that made you go huh the first thing you do is you go directly to them to talk about how you're feeling or what you're thinking or what's going on with you that that's making you look at them a little sideways and as you're going to them to talk to them about this you do not go and tell everyone else on the side on your way to them this is a very important step and it's very emotionally mature because it keeps the issue between you and the other person you're not dragging people into it you're not talking smack you're not damaging this person's reputation just because it could have been a misunderstanding and nine times out of 10 it is it's a private conversation not an open discussion or an open invitation to let others come in and chime in again if you tell every single person on the way people are going to see you as someone who stirs the pot unnecessarily and this speaks more about you and your behaviors and actions than it does about the person you're actually talking about whenever anyone comes to me and they immediately start talking smack about someone else first thing I do is step back and especially if I don't know this person and I've never experienced it I just kind of become neutral and I'll listen but I don't want to be dragg to it and if they keep doing it now you're you're speaking more about your actions and behaviors than you are that other person how you do one thing is how you do most things moving on let's say that you've approached this person you've chatted with them and still there's not uh and let's say you find a common ground awesome very rarely though you can't find a common ground so if you approach them and a mutual understanding can't be reached that's when we and Coe have step two we bring in a neutral third party to come in and mediate the situation for us it's our ambassadors they know not to go and tell everyone about this conversation between the two people our ambassadors are trained to handle conflicts professionally and neutrally and discreetly now before we get our ambassadors involved uh be sure that the other person knows that a neutral third party is coming in don't just bring in a neutral third party once an ambassador is involved the communication stays between all three parties no side chatter no gossip and no bringing any others in to weighin at this point the focus is on resolution not assigning blame and last but not least if this issue is still not resolved even with the mediation of a neutral third party like an ambassador the next step is to write the complaint down formally in writing signed and dated turned into me at we enco and and this complaint it has to formally outline exactly what the grievance is ambassadors know that this is the sequence of how it should happen and thank God it has not happened yet I've never received a formal complaint in writing signed and dated hopefully it never happens but if it does we have other steps in place to help solve the issue without ruining one or the other's reputation in the process and if you think about it reputation is really important I mean I've told you the story about when I was selling a similar Service as another lady and at one of my events she literally went behind me and told every single person I spoke to at my own event not to do business with me because my company was crap that took food right off the table for me and my daughter at the time and I would not do that to someone else um I know that competition High out there I understand it's called bis sinness but I also understand she was a single mom too but there's other ways to play there's more than enough business in town we don't need to compete we can collaborate but I digress after the these three steps have been reach if there's still not a solution we have a series of other steps which thank God we've never had to do um but this is going to help us formally resolve it again without damaging one or the other party's reputation Weeno we take grievances seriously but we take professionalism seriously as well this is why our process works it's clear it's simple it's concise it's designed to protect relationships not destroy them so the next time you have a grievance ask yourself am I venting to get something off my chest or am I complaining just to complain am I painting myself a victim because it kind of feels good to do that I know that sounds crazy I have a whole other video talking about how come it can feel good to feel like a victim uh you get attention you get people on your side that's a video for another day ask yourself are you venting or are you complaining and then if you feel like this is something serious enough take that first step take your issue right to the person who you have that beef with and don't tell a bunch of people along the way I'm Yana henan thank you so much for tuning in please like follow subscribe follow us on social Med media uh oh and scan the code at the end of this video and be sure to sign up for our newsletter no fluff just the good stuff and I will see you again this time next week I feel like you I feel like you have a grievance with me I know you want me to play with you okay in a minute