The One Thing That Can Sabotage Your Life

have you ever had the itch to do something wild and crazy on a whim maybe you make a big purchase you didn't intend to but you saw something you really wanted it and you threw caution to the wind and you bought it anyway or maybe you picked a fight with your spouse for no reason I have never done that or maybe you like gambling maybe you like putting everything on the line betting it all on black I'm Yana henan and today we're talking about the one thing that can sabotage everything AKA human Kryptonite the drama hook whether we like it or not we all have one and it manifests in different ways for each of us the point of this video is to number one let you know what a drama Hook is number two how to identify it and number three keep it out of your business and relationships so what is the drama hook what is this one thing that can sabotage everything well it's an unconscious or subconscious tendency to create or manifest problematic situations in one's life this can manifest in many different ways maybe you suddenly take a risk you wouldn't normally take maybe you encounter a conflict you normally wouldn't encounter and this can happen even if you're really stable and successful in many areas of your life it's like this weird Wild Hair we get everything's going great and we're like that looks like fun pattern of seeking out or responding to drama even when things are going really really well so how can you identify the drama hook one you create drama on your own the drama hook refers to the tendency to create or become entangled in dramatic situations as a way of coping with or avoiding deeper issues they might even be unresolved issues and again this can happen when someone is experiencing success or stability in one or more areas of life for example I have a friend who is with a partner who does not make her happy but she stays with them initiates confrontations and starts conflicts in order to distract herself from unfulfilled areas of her life it's cool no judgment I've been there myself I might still be there she won't leave him even though it's probably for her best interest she's very successful in business she makes a ton of money she is Fit Fabulous she's amazing but she sticks with this partner who does not fulfill her who pisses her off and then she goes off and then she picks fights with him that's how you create drama that is one symptom of having that drama hook number two seeking excitement I am very guilty of this people may subconsciously unconsciously seek out or create these dramatic situations to feel alive or to distract themselves from more uh mundane areas of their life for example I have a friend who is again successful has a great relationship a great business but has a gambling problem and though he's successful and again has a great family has been married for a number of years this addiction actually at one point almost left him completely broke with a family to feed he was seeking out excitement everything was going good business was good family was good relationship uh marriage life was good health is good and then there was just that little hook that said I need a little bit more excitement and he would go off and he'd Gamble and it almost cost him everything so are you seeking excitement in ways you probably shouldn't number three do you have unresolved issues I mean we all do right unresolved emotional issues or unmet needs conflicts as a way of addressing these concerns for example we all have that one friend who's always dated the wrong girls the wrong guys just totally attracted to the drama girls or the bad boys and resulted in high stressed highly dramatic relationships that are almost theatrical in nature I have a friend this this particular friend that I'm talking about she has a DE de seated abandonment issues that stem out of her childhood and she REM manifests it in her relationships but I'm no doctor and I don't even play one on TV these all are just passing conversations that I've had with all of my friends my drama hook looks very different I have this need every geez 5 to 10 years where I'm like I want to move to a different part of the country or another country altoe when I was 16 I moved out of the house when I was 19 I moved to Las Vegas from Springfield Missouri and when I was 22 I moved to Koala Lumpur Malaysia and lived there for 10 years almost moved to Singapore didn't and now I'm feeling it again I've been here eight years and I look at my husband and I'm like I just want to move somewhere that's my drama hook I like to change my environment right so we all have our drama hook and it's very important that you're number one aware of it number two can identify it and and number three do something about it but you can't do anything about it until you're aware of it and you can identify it so what can you do to stop that drama Hook from manifesting in your life practice mindfulness be aware of it recognize patterns identify triggers Are there specific situations and emotions that prompt your drama hook number two address underlying issues I know people think that if you go to therapy you must be crazy and maybe I am but I've been in therapy since I was 22 which is like 3 years ago that's a lie but partaking in that emotional and mental healing and even physical iCal healing that personal development it can do a lot for you even if you do some kind of uh mental health activity whether it's yoga or working out or chatting with someone it can do wonders for you it will also help you heal that past trauma so it doesn't keep uh REM manifesting in your life number three build a positive support structure around you and I mean this in a social aspect I know there's a lot of introverts out there but even just having one or two friends that can be there or family numbers that can be there to support you that can do worlds of good for you and uh last but not least number four satiate your drama hook yeah just feed it it's fine but do it in a healthy way I have a old Mentor and what he realized was and now he has a very successful business what he realized is his drama hook would not just sabotage his business but it would sabotage his relationship as well so when he started recognizing it and when he started seeing it he decided all right once a year maybe twice a year I'm going to go do something crazy so he'd go skydiving or he'd go climb a mountain or he'd go deep sea diving he'd go and he'd do something that was totally exciting and gave you that adrenaline rush and then he'd go back to his business and his relationship and be like ah yes I this is good I like the stability just satiate that drama hook anywh who I'm Yan Henman thank you so much for tuning in uh remember to like follow subscribe to We&Co on all of your channels also sign up for our pitchf free newsletter happens once a week and uh yeah I'll see you this time next week [Music]